My Relationship with Weight

The Complexity of Eating Disorders

Despite being my lowest weight since my 20s, I still sometimes struggle with seeing a fat person.

National Eating Disorder Week has been yet another reminder to me that I border on the brink of an eating disorder. It’s not something I talk about a lot, but it’s an important part of who I am.

Most people picture an emaciated figure refusing to eat, or a person binging and purging, but eating disorders aren’t so cut and dry. There are those of us who struggle with weight, whether it’s the number, our body image, or needing to feel control of something. I’m one of them. I’ve dealt with all three.

According to ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Related Disorders), at least 10% of the population is suffering from an eating disorder. Most of these are women. Intelligent women with common sense who have a problem.

ANAD acknowledges signs of an eating disorder include adapting food rituals, withdrawing socially, extreme mood swings, and notable weight fluctuations. They are considered psychological disorders, but can affect the health of your teeth, gastrointestinal system, skin, hair, and even major organs.

It’s also not uncommon for people like me, dealing with disabling health problems we can’t…